I love what I do. I love operating. That is exactly why it can be so hard for me to say no to an exciting opportunity to learn more and sharpen my techniques as a surgeon.
But that is exactly what I did last weekend.
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Some background
One of my clinical passions is lymphedema surgery. It is still relatively nascent, highly innovative, and incredibly impactful for patients.
One of the newest advances in the field is a microsurgical robot called Symani, developed by a company named MMI. My hospital acquired one of these robots about five months ago as part of our effort to continue building our lymphedema program.
Since then, I have trained at the company’s headquarters in Jacksonville and have performed a large number of cases using the technology. In fact, as of about a week ago (when I last checked), I had used the robot more than any surgeon in the country during Q1 of 2026.
It is early, but I truly believe this technology can make a meaningful difference.
Even more exciting, new applications for this microsurgical robot are emerging through pioneering procedures. Our hope is to become a clinical study site to investigate these techniques further.
The opportunity I said no to
About a month and a half ago, the company invited me to a once-a-year conference they host in Jacksonville.
The meeting brings together many of the top lymphedema surgeons in the world. It features several days of practical talks focused on best practices and emerging techniques. Normally, it is exactly the kind of event I would jump at.
There was also an added perk. The PGA Players Championship was taking place nearby, and the conference days would end early so attendees could go watch the tournament.
And I said no.
Why I said no
Five or six years ago, I would have said yes indiscriminately.
The opportunity alone would have been enough. And if I am being honest, a little bit of FOMO probably would have pushed me over the edge.
Those same urges were still there this time.
But something I have noticed over the years is a pattern. When I say yes to opportunities indiscriminately, I often come back exhausted and feeling like it would have been better for my overall well-being if I had stayed home.
Not because the opportunity itself was bad. Far from it.
But because it did not align with my life at that moment.
On the other hand, when an opportunity truly aligns with what is happening in my life and with my family, I usually come back energized and refreshed.
The key is learning how to differentiate between the two and being intentional about the decisions you make.
This opportunity simply did not align.
Not because of the company, the talks, or the location.
Because of me.
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A good opportunity can still be the wrong choice at the wrong time
This is something I think I have only really learned with time.
Earlier in my career, I tended to think about opportunities almost entirely in terms of their upside. If something would help me grow, make me better, or expose me to something important, I felt like I should say yes. That seemed like the responsible thing to do. The ambitious thing to do.
But what I have learned is that evaluating an opportunity only by its value is incomplete. Timing matters too. Life matters too. Your energy matters too.
So what does that mean?
It means that something can be genuinely worthwhile and still not be the right decision for you at that moment. Those two things can both be true at the same time. And I think that is what made this decision feel more mature than some of the decisions I would have made five or six years ago. I was not saying no because the opportunity lacked value. I was saying no because, despite its value, it did not fit my life that weekend.
What tipped the decision
A few things ultimately made the decision clear.
My operating schedule the previous two weeks had been intense, packed with long days and complex flap cases. Traveling and staying in a hotel would not have resulted in much rest.
The weekend also coincided with a Mardi Gras celebration in the ski town where my kids spend many of their winter weekends. We had already planned to attend.
The Players Championship might be exciting for many people, but I am not a huge golf fan. For me, that would have been time away from my family rather than something I was excited to do.
Most importantly, I realized I had simply been missing time with my kids. Their schedule has been busy lately, but this particular weekend offered a rare chance to just spend time together.
There was also a practical consideration. Attending the meeting would have required canceling my OR day that Friday. I already had a breast reconstruction case scheduled. Rescheduling it would have been difficult for my schedule and even more inconvenient for the patient.
Taken together, the decision became clear.
So I said no.
And honestly, I am proud that I did.
The real skill is learning how to tell the difference
I think this is the part that matters most.
Some opportunities really are worth rearranging life for. Some trips do leave you energized. Some meetings do come at exactly the right time and create momentum that extends far beyond the event itself. I do not think the lesson here is to say no more just for the sake of saying no.
The lesson is to get better at telling the difference.
To ask yourself not just whether something is objectively good, but whether it is right for you right now. Whether it fits your family, your patients, your schedule, and your own bandwidth. Whether you are saying yes because it truly aligns or because it feels uncomfortable not to.
That kind of honesty is not always easy. But I think it becomes more important the fuller your life gets.
My challenge to you
Say no to more things.
You cannot do everything, no matter how efficient you are.
Most physicians know the feeling of returning from a “can’t miss” conference or opportunity only to realize you would have been better off staying home and prioritizing time for yourself, your family, or your friends.
That does not mean you should stop saying yes.
It simply means being more intentional about when you do.
I like to think of it similarly to intentional spending. Ask yourself how much joy or value you will actually get from the opportunity. Then decide based on that, not on obligation or FOMO.
It is a small mindset shift, but it can lead to big personal results.
What do you think? Have you ever said no to an opportunity like this? Was it hard? How did you feel afterwards? Let me know in the comments below!
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